Mean Mom's Club - The Mom's Rule Book

“One of my biggest frustrations of parenting was trying to find the time and energy to sift through the myriad of resources that I didn’t have time to read, that were too general, and that didn’t fit my family. I found myself following my own set of common sense rules that allowed me to take charge in a way that fit my values and goals. Now I have combined both personal and professional experience to create Mean Mom's Club: The Mom's Rule Book .” ~ Maureen LoBue Interview with a “Mean Mom” by San Diego Bargain Mama What is a mean mom to you & how is that a good thing? When my kids were growing up, instead of saying, “Because I said so,” I would say, “Because it’s in The Mom’s Rule Book.” They’d reply, “You’re mean.” Then I’d reply back, “I’m so mean, I’m President of the Mean Mom's Club!” They knew, then, that there was no arguing, because they knew I wouldn’t bend or give in. That’s what it means to be a “mean mom”; to have a plan for how to handle situations & to stick with that plan no matter what. Kids test rules when they don’t feel safe and secure. If they know those rules will always be enforced, they feel secure and they stop testing them. My goal is to share this foundation with busy parents to create a realistic plan of their own to take charge in raising responsible, compassionate kids. What would you say is the most important thing in raising kids? As both a single and partnered parent, I experienced so many challenges in raising my boys. But no matter the situation, one thing stood above all else: know what you want for them as adults and have a plan to get them there. One parent I talked to had a different view of college goals for her kids than I had for mine. That’s ok. The key is to know what values you want to teach and decide how to teach those. Everything we do teaches something. I took my boys bargain shopping from an early age; not that they loved shopping, but I wanted to teach them to be self-sufficient and this was one way to do that. Today they both know the value of a good bargain & can’t wait to tell me when they found one! I also wanted them to know how to handle money well once on their own. So I paid them for certain “chores” and taught them to save and manage their savings. So, are you a believer in allowances, and if so at what age/maturity level is setting that system up best? I don’t believe in allowance unless it is tied to teaching responsibility. Our goal is always to send them off someday as responsible adults. After all, we’re hoping they’re going to take care of us eventually! By paying them for chores, they not only earn their own money, but they contribute to the family which teaches them to be considerate and compassionate. By the time kids are in school, they need to have some money of their own and are mature enough to earn it. Weekly chore charts can be very helpful because they are concrete plans that can be checked as they go. Of course as they grow, the chores become more complex. At first they’re setting the table. Later, they’re doing dishes. Still later, they’re making the meal once a week. Where did the idea of the Mean Mom's Club: Mom's Rule Book come from? The idea came from my sense of frustration at the huge number of general resources out there on parenting that I didn’t have time to sift through as my kids were wearing me down. Parenting is exhausting, time-consuming, and expensive if you don’t take charge of it. So based on my professional and personal experience, I wrote a common sense, practical reference guide that helps us as parents take action that works for our own families. How can being a “mean mom” help us save time and money? The bottom line of being a mean mom is to be structured. We need to set boundaries and then stick to those boundaries, even when that makes us seem mean. By doing this we stop the second-guessing that so many of us are too good at & that takes a huge amount of time and energy, not to mention money when we give in to please our kids with unrealistic things. When my son was 11-years-old he cried in the store aisle, once, when I refused to buy him the designer t-shirt that was beyond my budget. Because I knew ahead what the boundaries would be, I did not give in, but told him to join me at the bargain rack when he was ready. He did! What tools worked best for you when raising your children? First, I realized I’m not perfect & learned to use my support network. I raised two sons, both as a single and partnered parent. There were challenges to each, which may be the basis of another book! Both sons are now grown, one in college and the other a college graduate. Both have put themselves through school. Both experienced Mean Mom's Club: The Mom's Rule Book first hand. That alone was tremendously helpful. My support network was my therapy when I needed it. Then I set up realistic boundaries based on safety and the developmental levels of my kids. One of the most important tools was to be consistent. Nothing can work if you don’t apply it consistently. What would you say is the most important thing in raising budget-minded kids? Our goal is always to send them off someday as responsible, compassionate people. After all, we’re hoping they’re going to take care of us eventually! We do that by teaching them to contribute to the family. My kids helped from an early age, not for an allowance, but because families help each other. We didn’t hire people to clean the house or mow the lawn. We did those things together. We also shared; computer, phone, TV. Kids don’t need to have their own. They learn to share and consider each other when they don’t have them. Not only does this save money, it teaches compassion and responsibility. Describe what one would experience in your workshop. The book is a reference guide with the seven foundational rules to create your own plan. The workshop helps you to understand and apply the rules directly to your family. In the beginning everyone writes down something their kids do that drives them crazy. At the end, we use the rules to find solutions to those situations. How does the coaching program bring more value to the book? This is a membership program that goes into fine details of every rule so you actually create a concrete plan you can rely on over and over as you raise your kids. You make lists and work with your family to set boundaries. Your kids know what the plan is as well as you, so the battles you might have had are eliminated. Imagine how that would feel; no more testing the boundaries because they’re crystal clear from the beginning. Think of the time and energy that would save! Maureen has combined her MA in education and child development with over 25 years of experience in school, hospital, and homeless shelter environments to create this seven rule foundation. Mean Mom's Club: The Mom's Rule Book can be found at www.meanmomsclub.com. It can be purchased directly from www.amazon.com. The Mean Moms Coaching Program, a membership program, helps to create a detailed solid plan to raise responsible, compassionate kids. More information about creating your own plan can be found at www.meanmomscoach.com.