Sexy Preteen Lingerie – Um, We’ll Pass!

girl braA li’l leopard skin push-up bra for your 9 yo, anyone?

When it comes to purchasing bras and underwear for girls there currently appears to be some heated discussions going on (pros & cons) surrounding Victoria Secret’s new preteen line.  Companies (such as Hollister, Abercrombie & Fitch, so many more… ) don’t care that they are overtly selling sex to kids.

Sure, sex sells, but the greater the span of consumers, the more society seems to expand what is deemed acceptable for our minors to involve themselves in, encouraging them to mature before their time!

“A recent marketing campaign dubbed ‘Bright Young Things’, included a line of thongs bearing slogans like ‘I dare you’, ‘wild’, and ‘feeling lucky’.” ~ Robbie Owens,

“I was also wondering were i can buy preteen lingerie (not at target) because that ugly. But, i buy lots of cute underwear because i can fit into thoose but I really want matching bra and panty sets. So please help me!!” ~ Ally Parker,

Here is my family policy: Modesty OR BUST (little pun fer ya) for children that live under my roof or anyone whom I support or supervise.  I see that my girl’s schoolmates might push the envelope, (according to my standards) when it comes to their choices in lady-like fashion, but that’s not so much my business as my girl is.  I give her a great range to express herself, and she sure does such, but the buck stops at small dangling earrings and lipgloss.

“It’ll probably be Victoria’s Secret — and I have no problem with that.  I even like that fact that they are marketing toward a younger audience.” ~ Jenny Erikson, The Stir

There is a major distinction between shaming and avoiding the topics surrounding sexuality and introducing, permitting and celebrating it with dependant minors.  You will not see me escorting my girl into a store that has as a primary goal to encourage female sensuality and sexuality.

I have no place introducing my 10 yo to sexy lines of undergarments, and do not particularly find this type of shopping an appropriate mother-daughter experience, from the get-go.  I have colleagues that disagree, but I personally find that debating philosophies on the matter online is unproductive (been there, done that).

Here is what I look for in undergarments for a girl who is maturing:

  • Reasonably-priced
  • Good quality
  • Comfortable
  • Cute in color and size, but not sexy

Here is what I stay away from when shopping for under garments for a girl who is maturing:

  • Taking my girl to a store (to shop for her) that has semi-nude seductive women in the windows
  • Slinky and sexy lingerie
  • Stores that provoke sexual activities
  • Encouraging matching sets, lace, thongs, etc.
  • Anything with sleezy slogans

What say you?  Is this not a black and white issue?  Where do YOU shop for girl undergarments?


  1. It’s not just popular chains like Victoria’s Secret that are selling sexy undergarments to preteens. Earlier in the school year I was surprised by the amount of lace, bows, zebra prints, and underwire in the preteen bra aisle while shopping in a regular department store with my almost twelve year old. Luckily for me, my preteen picked out a cotton sports bra which she has since shoved in the back of her drawer. On the bright side, our shopping experience acted as a good conversation starter for talking about these things with my daughter.

  2. I have a three-weeks-shy-of-18 daughter who observed modesty until recently. Not that she wears sleazy stuff, but she can now shop at VC and ops for the femenine fashions rather than the slutty items in that store. No slogans or prints, just lace, eyelet and cotton. I am thankful she hasn’t chosen something racy yet!

  3. Phew, it is quite a journey having a daughter who will become a young lady. It is exhausting, but great to learn from others how they approach the topic and to what degree each person feels comfortable shopping for appealing, yetage-appropriate underwear! Not fun for me. At all. :)

  4. My mother was very strict with me, and I am glad because I still (for the most part) abide by what she taught me. Underwear is meant to be practical…NOT loud. A zebra or colorful bra will be visible under a white t-shirt and it’s just drawing attention to a part of one’s body that does not need attention (in the teen years). Even now as an adult I primarily purchase undergarments in colors that are practical.

    As for sexually suggestive slogans on pre-teen underwear? I say NO WAY! Yikes! There’s already so much in the media that makes pre-teens think it’s acceptable for them to dress/behave as though they were in their 20’s and it’s just irresponsible (IMO) to allow them to conform to what they see. It’s just too much too soon.

    Way to go Stacey! Your girl definitely will have her feet on the ground and her head on her shoulders! You’re guiding her to becoming a lady…not just a female.


    • Oh! and also…why would anyone purchase Victoria’s Secret for a pre-teen?! It’s so expensive! I’d never spend that much on undergarments that they’re bound to grow out of soon.

  5. I am one step short of livid over the sexualization of children and pre-teens. Parents might think its all in the name of fun, but the big picture proves otherwise. I’ll never forget a children’s dance I saw at the Del Mar Fair: the 5 y.o. boys cracking their whips while the tarted up girls in their catsuits jumped on and off a colorful box a la lion tamer at a circus re-enactment. It was so sad. The moms thought it was cute. I couldn’t watch.

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